I spend a lot of time reading things that piss me off (in books, online, in newspapers) and I often launch into long-winded diatribes that my poor husband is forced to listen to.
Naturally, this can get to be a little much.
Sometimes he begs, "can we please talk about something else just for a little bit? I'm already angry enough about the world for one day."
"Ok." I say. "What should we talk about?"
"Um - puppies?" He suggests.
"Puppy mills! Dog fighting! Shelter overcrowding!"
"Uhh - butterflies?"
"Global warming! Pollution! Oil drilling in the ANWR!"
"Fine." He says. "You think of something."
"Unicorns?" I finally suggest.
"Not unless you're willing to admit that you're wrong." He replies.
Oh yes. We had a bitter argument a few months ago about the proper etymology and usage of the word "unicorn". Sadly, this is not a joke.
"Is there nothing that we can discuss that doesn't remind us of horrible things?" I asked.
"Cookies?" He suggested.
"Trans-fats?" I tried. "Cholesterol? Calories? The 'obesity epidemic'?"
"No, we don't care about any of that stuff." He replied.
Cookies it is! So let's all have a cookie.
Monday, April 19, 2010
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I'm just imagining him making an argument for the usage of unicorn... I have no idea what the proper etymology and usage is, only that The Last Unicorn made me really sad when I was little.
ReplyDeleteAnd I can't believe cookies are a happier topic than puppies and butterflies...cookies are yummy, but then I feel guilty and gluttonous (not that that stops me from eating them....)
The argument was about (to the best of my recollection) whether it was proper to refer to the unicorn's horn as a 'unicorn', or whether you should say 'unicorn's horn' or 'horn'. Since unicorn MEANS 'one horn'. And there were rhinos brought up, and narwhals... I don't really remember it but I'm SURE he could recount it in epic detail if ever you are interested.
ReplyDeleteCookies remind me of white people showing off their un-racist-ness. >.> Look how awesome I am! Gimme cookie! (Disclaimer: I'm white, I know I've done it myself.)
ReplyDeleteOh no antikythera, you've ruined cookies for me too :)
ReplyDeleteLol! Nice post.
ReplyDeleteCookies for me are only ok if they're home-made. Unfortunately, being involved in orangutan conservation has made store-bought ones a problematic issue for me.
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